don’t compare | etc

don't compare | paperyrain.com

via: a pair of pears

 I met this woman over the weekend at an event my husband and I attended that inspired me to find this quote. Within a few minutes of meeting her (for the first time), I knew she had lived in Paris (“for such a long time, it was hilarious”), got a check in the mail for $85,000 (on a whim), lived in a very large home in a ritzy part of Dallas on over an acre (which in the city, is not easy to accomplish without a large price tag), and had connections all over Texas (and the world for that matter). After interrupting the man beside me to give a quick run down of all the instruments she could play, the heirloom sets of china she had acquired, and how accomplished she had been in her career, she turned to me (which actually made me pee a little, I had no idea she knew I was there) and asked me what I did for a living. As I breathed deep and looked at my husband like I was a deer, watching the headlights of a (really fancy) car slowly approaching and instead of moving out-of-the-way, I decided to toe touch in front of the passengers, I said, “Well, I just started a blog and I’m really trying to focus on that.” She (the fancy car passenger that was less than impressed with my toe touch) then asked, “but what do you want to do?”

Fast forward to the car ride home. I started to compare my life, at 29, and my accomplishments with hers. I went to Europe for a few days, but that was my first time in Europe (maybe the last, who knows). I don’t have a career, I don’t have a family that includes actual children (but I am one proud momma to 2 pups), I don’t even own my own car, my husband bought it. It was starting to get out of hand when Matthew, my hubby, looked over and said, “You may not have done half of what she has, but 1. you have so much time to add to your list and 2. knowing who you are and not feeling the need to prove “it” to everyone makes you a winner.”

 I realized comparing myself to her was like comparing baseball and basketball (and that my husband is amazing and that’s why I used a sports analogy; you’re welcome boo). It’s ok that I don’t have an encyclopedia of amazing life events yet and it’s ok to be proud of my short story. Everyone has to start somewhere, no matter what age, or stage in life. The key is to remember not to compare yourself and your story to anyone, because everyone’s story is different.

8 comments

  1. Kelly Jo says:

    Wonderful words from your hubby. It can be easy to get caught in the comparison trap, only focusing on what you don’t have or haven’t done. I try to remember that while my story may be on the smaller side, it’s just as meaningful (if not more) than those who might have a larger one.

  2. Megan says:

    Aw, I love what your husband said. And it’s so true! Frankly, that woman sounds really pompous and her needing to tout herself just indicates that she’s probably lacking some self-esteem. Just shows you that even when someone seemingly has it “all together” they too have insecurities 😉

    I turn 29 in November and I have a similar story to yours. No kids (but an adopted cat-child that I pamper to no end!), a rented home, an old car that we share, and a handful of dreams that seem unattainable right now. Don’t worry, our stories will fill out, we’ve got plenty of time to write them 🙂

    • paperyrain says:

      Yeh, she wasn’t my favorite person I’ve met, but certainly not the worst either. (Believe it or not, there was someone more frustrating there as well; and yes, we got out of there as fast we could). I actually felt bad for her after talking with my husband. Like you said, she obviously was dealing with some personal things.

      I agree with you. Smaller stories have lots of room to grow and that’s pretty exciting to comprehend! Thank you for writing in!! xo

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